8 Important Lessons Being Single In Your 20s Teaches You

 

1. You will go on a lot of first dates. Most of them will be anticlimactic.
Some of them will just be bizarre. You may find yourself acting more like Dr. Phil than a potential suitor as you try to help the person across the table from you cope with his recent breakup. Maybe he’ll spend too much time talking about his failed relationships or maybe you’ll spend too much time talking about how your job is giving you gray hair. Maybe your personalities, your interests or your morals will clash. And at some point, after you come home and slam your keys down on the coffee table and tell your roommate you’re never going on a date again, you’ll remember that no first date is ever the same — and at the very least, you have a new story.

2. First dates will never get easier.
And they shouldn’t. No matter how many you go on, the moments before a first date will always feel similar to seasickness. Your palms will sweat, your heart will race and you’ll start spinning the wheel of what-if’s and oh-my-gods. You should never feel comfortable or complacent with the idea of meeting a stranger who could potentially flip your life upside down like you do your mattress every few years. Wrap your arms around that feeling.

3. All your friends will suddenly start to get engaged — or at least it might feel that way — and that’s OK.
You’ll start to ask yourself, “Did I miss something in the syllabus freshman year?” Somehow everyone you knew in college seemed to get a memo that when they hit 24, 25, 26, they were supposed to suddenly trade their Forever 21 studded rings in for a diamond the size of an overgrown pimple. You’ll be there with them: sitting at an eight-person table at a wedding reception watching people slow dance, getting fitted for your sixth bridesmaid dress (in one year), zooming in on another one of your mere acquaintances’ pictures of their ring on Instagram with the hashtag #HePutARingOnIt. You might ask yourself, What’s wrong with me? Why am I still single? And after dancing the hora with a bride’s parents, and going to another bachelorette party, and calling up another person and exclaiming with a face full of tears how happy you are for them, you will — eventually —- realize the answer to that question is: absolutely nothing. You are just single.

4. You’ll try new things.
I once met someone who was 18 and told me she’d never try online dating until she was in her late 30’s — and only as a last resort. I patted her on the back and said, “Just wait until you have a full-time job.” It’s harder to meet people when you’re working 9-to-whenever-your-to-do list-is-complete and it’s easy to get sick of being hit on by guys at bars with tequila on their breath. You’ll say “yes” to trying new things and meeting new people when you’re single, and those things will be nothing but interesting adventures. You’ll do speed dating (once), online dating (a bunch) and may even find yourself on a six-person Grouper blind date. You’ll also get drunk off gin and sodas with your girl friends and stay out until 5 a.m. sometimes and go to fancy dinners with work acquaintances and drive two hours to see an art exhibit and plan a vacation to place where you barely speak the language. It will all be fabulous — or at the very least, interesting.

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